Birth Center

I read many positive birth stories during pregnancy (in fact I found them pretty addictive)! We didn’t plan to take photos but we ended up getting a few and they frame the story quite well, so I thought I’d share my experience before it becomes a distorted memory. It’s funny because whenever I say it was pretty amazing, Luke looks at me as if I am crazy, so it’s possible my mind has erased how tough it was.. and that’s also fine ? The point is that if my story helps just one person who’s nervous about their upcoming birth, it’s a good thing!

So clearly I wasn’t in labor at the gym ?.. but this photo was taken the day before I went into labour and I think this session may have got things moving (we’ll never know of course!). I was just coming up to 39 weeks and was keen to avoid being induced so I did a 3km uphill walk and lots of squats that day. I felt fine after the workout and we went out for a lovely lunch. The next day however, I was so tired. Like crazy crazy tired. I remember lying on the sofa just repeating to Luke “I feel totally exhausted” (clever body – forcing me to slow down before a 36 hour marathon session)! I did very little that day and later that evening remember I telling Luke my Braxton Hicks contractions were “really strong and uncomfortable” – you’d think I may have twigged at that point I was going into labour but I was actually a bit oblivious ?… I had a long bath and got into bed at around 11pm, uncomfortable but not in any real pain. The last thing I said to Luke was “take the day off tmr and hang out with me and bump”. He said no, so I said “me and bump will do everything possible to stop you going to work tmr”. And we did ?

At around 1am I woke up to some strong cramps. At first I lay there wondering if I was imagining it, but as soon
as I saw a pattern in the timing of the cramps I knew this could be it ? I wasn’t nervous at all, just filled with excitement. I let Luke sleep next to me until 2am as I knew he’d need his energy too, and I laid there timing the contractions. They were lasting about 45-50 seconds and coming every 4 minutes. I woke him up after an hour and said we’d better call the hospital to warn them. They advised to wait until the contractions were 1 minute long and 3 minutes apart, so I popped my Tens machine on and did my make up (lol)… The pain was totally bearable – like period cramps. At 5am we called the hospital again as the contractions were around 55 seconds long and 3.5 minutes apart – I really wanted to check if they had a water pool free (you can’t reserve them, you just have to hope it’s available when the time comes.. ). They asked if I could feel Ava moving and I realised I couldn’t remember the last time she’d kicked, so just in case they said to come in. This pic is of me on a fetal monitor with my Tens round my neck in the maternity unit around 6am. The contractions were now getting stronger, so they decided to transfer me to the birthing unit for an examination. Ava was doing great, and that’s all I allowed myself to focus on. I just kept repeating “as long as Ava’s okay I’ll take whatever pain Mother Nature throws at me” I lost count of the amount of times I repeated that. ?

This photo makes me laugh.. my massive fur slippers lol. It’s now around 8 am and I’d been having contractions since 1am. I’d been examined and I was 3 cm dilated. The midwife did a sweep to move things along a bit. She also told me Ava had no hair at all… which I was pretty surprised about (I’d definitely ordered one with hair). The contractions were getting stronger and it was really hard to talk whilst I was getting them. Unfortunately they were also starting to get further apart. I remember feeling really confused about that, and to be honest, pretty disappointed when the midwife said this is common in first births (the starting and slowing down). I was so ready to meet Ava now, but the reality was I wasn’t progressing quickly anymore, so we made the decision to go home where I’d be more comfortable and we would wait for the contractions to become more frequent there. I remember I felt annoyed, upset and frustrated that my body was letting us down, but I kept going back to the same thing – as long as Ava was okay nothing else mattered. This was mentally the thing that got me through and when it got really hard I went back to focus on this. We left the hospital around 11am (still in these ridiculous slippers…)

I’ve posted this picture before. It’s the “oh yeah, s**t just got real” photo ? This is about 13 hours after being woken by contractions in the night. By now it was around 2pm and they were pretty painful. I couldn’t talk through them, I just had to breathe, use the Tens and have Luke massage the bottom of my back. It was the kind of pain that takes your breathe away. I walked, bounced, got on all fours, sat a little – keeping active. Around 5pm the contractions were really strong but annoyingly still five minutes apart. I called the hospital as I didn’t know how much longer I would cope at home without gas and air and they said I could come in. When I got there and was examined I was 5 cm dilated (and told I’d done well to get that far on a Tens as I was contracting pretty strongly). I remember I cried tears of joy as I was really scared they’d say I was still 3 cm and I’d have to go home. At least now I was allowed into the birthing pool!

It got dark again lol! Here I am at 8 pm in the water pool (in labour for 20 hours at this point). I felt so much better in the water – relaxed and happy. Ava was doing great and the gas and air was helping me deal with the pain. Luke said I looked like I was in a spa (obviously not during the contractions as that would have been a pretty weird spa environment). My confidence grew and I thought “right you’ve got this – you can do it”. Unfortunately my body had other plans… as I wasn’t dilating fast enough. I got to 8 cm quickly, but the contractions started to slow again. The midwife asked if she could pop my waters, and I said yes. She showed me what she was going to do it with – I wish she hadn’t and I’m pretty sure Luke regrets looking at the knitting needle type instrument lol, but the truth is that it didn’t hurt at all. The contractions at this point were really strong though, and they got significantly stronger after my waters broke. As I was still dilating slowly, the midwife advised I needed to be induced using a syntocinon drip – this would make the contractions even stronger and therefore I should strongly consider an epidural. It wasn’t part of my birth plan but I was shattered by this point, so we decided it would be best to be transferred to the labour ward to have the drip and the epidural. I cried. I wanted to get back in the water. But then once I decided I wanted the epidural the only thing I could focus on was getting it! ?

I actually love this photo – I’m not sure what it is, it’s just very raw. It’s possibly me at my worst, but also me at my strongest if that makes sense, because waiting for the epidural to kick in was pretty tough! I had left the birthing centre and was taken on a wheel chair to the maternity unit. At this point the contractions were extremely strong, even before the Pitocin drip was put in. There was no guarantee how long I would take to fully dilate and I was shattered so an epidural was undoubtedly the best option. As soon as I had it, the pain started to melt away. I was in control of how much pain relief I was giving myself and I didn’t use it often as I wanted to feel the contractions when it was time to push. This photo was taken 26 hours into labor. Unfortunately it was another 8 hours before my contractions were close enough for me to start pushing. This was the toughest part of the labor – I had a catheter fitted, felt tired, and still felt pain. But I was hooked onto the fetal monitoring machine and with every contraction I reminded myself Ava was doing well and was one step closer to being in my arms – somehow that kept me calm and focused. ❤️

The face says it all… ? So after 34 hours in labor, the midwife said it was finally time to start pushing. At this point something came over me and I was just utterly determined to hold my baby. With the third push her head appeared. But just under an hour later despite giving it everything, her head was simply not making it through (my pelvic floor muscles were very strong and her head wasn’t coming out as a result). An episiotomy was my worst nightmare before I went into labour, and when I was told I needed one to deliver her I remember feeling a bit scared. But then I also knew I would do whatever was needed to get her here safely. The truth was I didn’t feel a thing whilst they did it. I closed my eyes and thought about holding her, was told to push and suddenly the huge pressure I’d been feeling eased – her head was out. Then I was told to push gently, and I felt her whole body slide out. From that moment everything happened so quickly. There was this little wet pinky/purple thing wriggling on my chest. For the first minute or so I was just utterly shocked and relieved it was over, and then the joy, the happiness, the utter euphoria hit. I held her close and took in all of her (this photo above was taken four minutes after she was delivered ☺️) and whilst I was holding Ava the midwife gave me an injection to deliver the placenta, and I was stitched up. I didn’t even notice! I apparently also face timed my sister and my BFF shortly after this (the recollection is very vague but I’m told I did lol…) It’s funny – I don’t remember the pain now. I know it was strong, but I’d go through it again in a heartbeat. You forget the pain, and you’re left with the most precious thing in the world.

@thenewmummyadventures

I have been telling my recovering addiction story for the past couple of years of my life so you can jump to my blog to read information.

One blog post was about the final break through with Cody that I knew what was going on with our family and I made the decision to stay with him and help him in the recovery process.

After that I made the decision I realized that I still needed to be able to support myself if things went bad with Cody. I am a massage therapist but getting a license in Utah was difficult and I had to pay lots of money for CE classes and paying for the licensing and I wasn’t 100 percent sure if that’s what I wanted to do.
I had kind of been thinking about a wedding rental with my antiques for a while but I was too overwhelmed with everything going on and so I didn’t know where to start. but I finally decided I needed to make some real money and not just knitting.
So I found some facebook pages that are wedding related and put it out there that I was going to start being a wedding planner and was willing to work for really cheap to build my portfolio.
I did get a bride that was willing to let me do her wedding and I was so grateful for her. She gave me some confidence and allowed me to have a project and not just sit around thinking about how my life was falling apart.
I had a little budget so I was doing lots of DIY projects to cut the cost and I really enjoyed doing it. but there was one project that I needed Cody’s help. It was just too hard to do by myself. I asked him if he would take the materials to Las Vegas and work on them when he got off work. He promised he would do it and then he just didn’t. We were two days away from the wedding and it was Sunday night and he was having to get ready to go back to Las Vegas for yet another week.
At this point I was 8 months pregnant and doing anything was just harder. He left me with the materials and I was angry and depressed and didn’t know how I was going to pull off this wedding by myself and being pregnant with three little kids.
Cody had his bags packed and was ready to leave, but when his parents came to pick him up he made the decision he wasn’t going back and that he was going to stay the week to help me with the wedding and he also knew that he wasn’t going to be able to get the pills he needed. He would then have to do the final step of going through the withdrawals.
All day and night we made the things we needed and the wedding went great.

Cody and I call it “hell week” it was so miserable watching him go through withdrawals. It was scary at times, and I was trying to keep the kids away while still being there for Cody.
We also knew that without him working we were going to be in trouble financially but at this time getting him clean was the most important thing.

They were finally strong enough that we had to go to the birthing center and we made it there before the midwives. I have had faster labors each time so I was definitely worried it would be too quick. but when we got there she checked me and I was at a 4 CM. and said that we have plenty of time and I wanted to get into the water.

Cody went to get a shake next door and it took him about 20 minutes and when he got back my water broke. Midwives came in and said everything was looking great, and so we waited and I just let the baby come down without pushing, and just enjoying each contraction and allowing my body to adjust and prepare for the baby. The head came out and the shoulders struggled a bit so I stood up and put one leg up and that baby slid right out.

And then we had four babies. She was perfect and beautiful and Cody was freaking out because she didn’t cry she was just content looking around. We were all not worried about her but Cody wasn’t there for any of the meetings or orientations with the midwives and so he thought that the oxygen mask was because she was in distress. But they told me that they usually give them a puff of air to help clear the lungs and speed up the process of them breathing on their own. But once we calmed Cody’s nerves and got me into bed it was so amazing.

The bed was so comfy and warm and I didn’t bleed very much which is something I usually have a problem with and they told me that I didn’t tear at ALL and that is another story about my births that it was something traumatic for me healing from births. She was healthy and beautiful and I felt great.

I was able to stand right up and walk around and we said we want to go home. so about an hour after being born we took her home and the kids wanted to love on her but it was late so we just went to bed and started our new life together. We named her Betty Bloom Bushell.

I thought everything was going to be fine, but that was short lived because Cody had relapsed and things were getting stressful again. I was really scared because I now had a newborn and didn’t know how I was able to work or support myself and I just didn’t know how he was going to support us. When Betty was four weeks old there was something off with her. I co-sleep with my babies and one night I was waking up all night and telling Cody it felt like she wasn’t breathing. He just brushed it off and said she is fine but the next day I didn’t want to leave her alone. I didn’t even want to shower because I felt like something was wrong. She started developing a cough and runny nose so I knew she was sick. She didn’t have a fever so I thought she would be okay. but when I went to nurse her she had a really nasty cough and she couldn’t stop and then her lips were turning blue. It was the scariest thing I have ever witnessed on any of my babies.  I said a really quick prayer and I said, Heavenly Father my instincts tell me that I need to take my baby to the hospital and I get a very clear and quick answer back and it was YES take her to the hospital.

I called my dad and he came over to babysit and everyone was kind of acting like I was over reacting.

When we got there they confirmed it was RSV and deadly to infants and she needed to stay. They got her in and put some oxygen tubes up her nose. That night she was having apnea spells and would stop breathing for a long period of time. Every time the machine went off my heart was pounding and my brain went foggy and I just thought my baby was dying. The nurses couldn’t give me straight answers except “most” babies survive RSV but they couldn’t guarantee it. That night the baby next door to me had the exact same Virus and she had got so bad they were taking her by helicopter to take  her to primary children’s in salt lake because they had a better equipment and team for babies that severe. I started freaking out that that was going to be me next. And I just prayed for her to have a quick recovery. I could not sleep and my anxiety was through the roof. The next day she had gotten worse and she had spiked an fever and needed to do blood tests and make sure she didn’t have meningitis and take her urine to do more tests and it was just stressful. She was a beautiful healthy baby and it all changed in an instant.
Her oxygen levels were getting worse so they told me that had to jump to the highest BPAP so that she could get the most oxygen and if it got worse she would have to go by helicopter. Because the mask covered her face she wasn’t able to nurse so I had to pump and feed her through tubes. So I knew that this was for the long haul and I went home and got new clothes, my laptop, and some things to do while I was there. During this time I hadn’t talked to Cody and he was starting a new job with a company and I was stressed because I knew that Cody was withdrawing at home and he had to take care of my kids.
So I was a total mess having my baby sick and worrying about my family at home and I have never felt so much anxiety in my life. My adrenaline had spiked a few times and found myself having shakes. It was like the feeling of when you are really Cold and getting shivers uncontrollably. It was scary and I thought I was going bonkers. Cody came to see her after day 3 and it went was bad, we just fought and then he left. I was so nervous about how our family was going to survive this at all. After 6 days 5 nights in the hospital we were finally discharged and I was scared to leave because those machines were the only thing telling me that she was alive and she was okay. But we went home and started over yet again and knew that this was a long road ahead of us.

When I got pregnant with Betty I thought how could this be right. The timing was all wrong. but now I know that Betty was part of saving our family. When I heard the name Betty it was an immediate I knew that was her name.
I like to look up the meaning of names and the meaning of Betty is “God’s inspiration.” and that is exactly what she is to our family. She completes us and makes us better because of her presence on the earth and we are going to watch that beautiful soul grow and help heal us.

Photo by Aly Collins Photography

Now she is 9 months and is already walking (I know) and she is a talker. Anytime I talk she is trying to talk over me with her jibber jabber. Her hobbies are ripping my knitting to shreds and tangling it up and climbing up the stairs every 10 minutes. You just look at her and she laughs.  She is such a blessing to us. She also looks exactly like her dad. We love our chunky cheeked Boomers.

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