The first time I met Terah was while I was getting my DNP/CNM at the University of Utah. I remember arriving on L&D and my professor giving me report and on a woman who was a first time mom that was now complete and ready to start pushing. Sometimes a first time mom can push up to 4+ hours and this can be normal. I immediately went in Terah’s room and met Terah, her husband “B,” and her darling mom. At this point we started the pushing process. Some will argue it’s like running a marathon, as someone who has done both I agree especially for a first time mom. I got to spend the next 4 hours with Terah and her family it was beautiful what I witnessed. We listened to Terah & B’s favorite soundtrack the lights were dimmed, it was quiet and peaceful but yet a fun little birthday party.  I witnessed the beautiful relationship Terah & B have. They were constantly looking into each others eyes and holding hands. He was constantly giving her support and cheering her on. He really was the “perfect” hubby during the labor process. I have never witnessed anything quite like it, even to this day.

Terah moved to hands and knee position and after strong maternal efforts Indy Llew was born. It was such a special moment. She was absolutely beautiful and it was so lovely to watch Terah’s and B’s instant love and gratitude for her. Indy was placed immediately on Terah’s chest and I remember she started crying with JOY, my eyes swelled with joy. I remember being so excited and so incredibly proud of Terah. She worked so hard and her birth was absoutley perfect from my view. 

Within 10 minutes after Indy’s arrival the hospital lost power, the room went completely dark, it seemed like forever before the back up generator turned on. It was something I have never experience, imaging a hospital going completely dark for a short while (probably 1-2 mins) before the generator turned on and power remained. It was bizarre. I can’t imagine what all the other units in the hospital were like. 

It was shortly after Indy Llew was born that things became very difficult for this family. Indy was taken to the baby warmer after a brief moment of skin to skin for further assessment. She was then taken to the well baby nursery and eventually the NICU. I watched her sweet parents turn from incredible joy to scared of the unknown. You can read her personal experience here . 

As a student I felt like a sponge watching everything happen so fast. My professor took me out in the hall and explained that she thought the baby was going to be diagnosed with down syndrome. To be completely honest, I had no idea. Maybe it was my naive student self? She was perfect, I said. Are you sure? Her sweet little spirit really did light up the delivery room the second she was born.

B had gone to the well baby nursery with Indy and my professor asked me to go get him and have him come back to Terah’s room so the pediatrician could give the parents the news of the diagnosis. It would be good experience for me she said. I walked down to where B and Indy were. Indy was laying in the warmer looking around with her big beautiful eyes. B was starring at her in awe, you could already see the special relationship. I quietly asked B to come back to Terah’s room so the pediatrician could speak with them. No he said, I’m going to stay with Indy. I remember saying, “but Terah needs you right now.”  I was speaking very quiet and I remembering being choked up. Indy was perfect, she was so peaceful at that moment. 

With no success I walked back down the hall to tell my professor B wanted to stay with the baby and I couldn’t get him to come. Unhappy with me she walked down to the nursery and got him. I saw them from a distance walking back to Terah’s room.

Shortly after that the pediatrician came in and gave Terah and B the news. I was sitting outside the room and I remember hearing Terah start crying. My heart broke. I wanted to run and grab Indy and bring her to Terah, she was PERFECT. I wanted to run in there and tell them all about my cousin who was dx with down syndrome and how much I loved her, I wanted to run in and tell them how special I felt Indy was. But it was inappropriate at that time. The pediatrician came out shortly after and said they had requested to be alone. I remember thinking to myself, what can I say to them to help? What is appropriate? The nurse had mentioned only the pediatrician can give the diagnosis. I sat outside their room for a long while wanting to help, wanting to hug them. I wanted to go get Indy from the nursery and bring her back, I wanted Terah to see her. I felt helpless as a student. This was a unfamiliar situation in my experience in healthcare thus far. 

Month’s later Terah and I connected on social media. We decided to meet for lunch. I could finally tell her how special I thought her and B’s relationship was and how that was by far the most memorable delivery for me. We became instant friends and oh man that INDY. She was the sweetest, she melted my heart instantly, that little girl has a strong spirit and was already changing the world. She proceeded to tell me about her experience after that night. I regretted not advocating for her and Indy, why couldn’t they be together when they delivered the diagnosis? What would have helped her in that moment? What was “appropriate.” These things are not taught in school.

A couple weeks later Terah and I got asked to speak at the annual UDA conference in Salt Lake City about our experience. At this point Terah had connected with the most wonderful community outside the hospital. These mama’s and families were AMAZING. We decided to make a movie from families who had been through the birthing process with an unknown diagnosis of down syndrome, good and bad experiences. We titled our presentation 

“Supporting Families Facing Unknown Outcomes.”

I have LOVED watching Indy grow, I’m not kidding when I say she has impacted SO many lives including mine. This video has been presented to many healthcare professionals from CNA, nurses, residents, midwives, students. While filming this I’m not going to lie I felt envious of these families. I had felt a bright light, an overwhelming feeling of joy, and piece of heaven as I entered their homes. I hope you can all enjoy the movie we made. Please share with anyone you know that you think could benefit from it.